Sex vs. Chess
"Chess is better than sex." -- Bobby Fischer
A reader, tongue planted firmly in cheek, submitted 22 reasons why Fischer was right. He failed to point out, however, that both pastimes are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
- A good game can last seven hours or more and be enjoyed any time without stopping.
- As soon as you finish a game, you're ready for another one.
- There are billions of mating positions. Always NEW!
- You can play chess on the internet and find new partners any time you like.
- You can't catch a disease from chess. The worse than can happen to you from sitting for too long is a sore rump.
- You don't have to chat up your opponents and send chocolates or roses before they agree to play.
- Children can play chess well.
- You can perform for a long time and still play chess well in old age.
- Ugly players still get to mate.
- Ugly opponents don't put you off your game.
- Good players can take on hundreds of opponents at once.
- You usually know what your next move should be in chess.
- You can drink, smoke, and play chess simultaneously.
- In chess, the kings and queens can directly mix.
- No one ever complains that you're moving too fast.
- In chess -- but not in sex -- short games are highly valued.
- In chess your opponent has to make a move after your move.
- Misplacing your pieces on a chessboard is inconvenient; in the bedroom, it may be illegal.
- You don't have to kiss or hug your opponent after a game.
- In chess a quickie is often more satisfying than a long game.
- You can play chess with your clothes on. And in public too.
- Size does not matter. Most players are satisfied with average chess boards.
-- Larry Parr